Active couples therapy to help you grow together
Couples therapy works when both of you are willing to look at yourselves, not just each other — and if you are, I can help. I don't sit back while you talk past one another. I get in there with you, name what's actually happening between you in real time, and help you build something better than where you started.
Where the work begins
Most couples I work with come to me experiencing some of these things:
Trouble communicating and listening to each other
Tension, fighting, resentment, and a feeling that the other person isn’t understanding
Challenges with transitioning into commitment, marriage or parenthood together
Breaches of trust or infidelity
Intimacy and sex issues
None of this is unusual. It just means it's time to do things differently.
How I work with couples
I don’t just listen. I help you change the patterns.
Active (not passive)
When I see an unhealthy pattern playing out between you, I’ll name it in the moment, encouraging each of you to look at your part and figure out how you want to change it.
Coaching (not refereeing)
I work with each of you on your own part of the dynamic—what you're bringing to it, what you could do differently—instead of settling who's right.
Practice (not just talk)
We rehearse the hard conversations in session, so you leave with something you can actually use the next time it comes up at home.
Where we’ll go
In couples therapy, we’re focused on real change. Here are some shifts you may start to see:
You speak to each other differently. Fewer circular arguments, more listening and real understanding. You start to appreciate your differences vs. trying to be the same.
Trust rebuilds. Even after a breach — even slowly. You learn how to effectively repair after a conflict and how to regulate your own nervous system.
The reactivity drops. Less charge, less defensiveness, more room to actually hear each other and connect.
Intimacy comes back. Physical, emotional, or both.
You grow — not just as a couple, but as individuals.
The Details
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I currently work in the Dogpatch neighborhood in SF and virtually throughout California.
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A typical session is 50 minutes in length but sometimes I conduct longer sessions especially in my couples work or when using EMDR.
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Initially we will work together weekly. As progress is being made, clients have the choice to work bi-weekly.
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Please call me to discuss fees, as my rates vary for different services. If for any reason I am unable to provide what you need, I will be happy to refer you to other therapists and/or resources.
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I am a private pay therapist, however I am happy to provide monthly superbills for you to submit to your insurance company if your insurance covers out-of-network mental health services.
Showing up together is the first step.
Reach out, and we can all have that first conversation.